NONVEG- JOKES

TEACHER: why do buffaloes look depressd aftr being milked?
STUDENT: madam, if someone press ur Boobs for 2 hours and doesn"t
Fuck u,
how will u feel...



chodne K Baad PATI Apni PATNI Se Bola: Darling Ab RECHARGE
Khatm Ho Gaya. Tabhi Uske.padosi ka.BETA Chaddi Khol K Bola:
HUTCH Ka CHOTA RECHARGE Chalega.


A penis says 2 his goti "right lads get ready and i"ll take u to a
party" the balls reply "u fucking liar u always go inside and leave
us out.



KYA BOSS PHONE
NAHI,

MISS CALL NAHI,

SMS BHI NAHI.

ZORDAR KAAM

CHALU HAI KYA..
/ /I /
,c(,,)= )
,;", I /

LAGE RAHO




1 purani havelimai band kamre me dhool se bhari tasvir k peechay
lagay jalaay me phasi makri k moo mai dabi makhi k per pai behte
jaraasim ki qasam "I MISS U"



Uff!
Dabao na!
Zor se!
Aisa karo..
apni pant nikalo!
Meri kurti bhi..!
Ab zor se..
Tight hai!
Or zor se!
Ooh!
Ho gaya!
Suit-case band!


car hadse ne sajjan sing to bach jate ha4 pur unka lund
katna padjata hai unki girlfriend kahti hai
WOTO RAB KA SUKAR HAI AAP BAAL BAAL BACH GAI
sajjan apni lungi utha kar dikhate hai aur kahte hai
YAHAN AUR KUCH BACHA KYA HAI BAAL HI BAAL TO BACHE HAI


Sajjan:Dr sahab mujhe bahoot khatarnak bimari ho gai hai`
Dr:"Kya bimari hai batao"
SAJJAN:"Aap hasen ge to nahi"
Dr:"Nahi nahi tum befikr batao kya bimari hai"
sajjan itna sunne ke baad dr ko apna lund dikhata hai ye
dekhkar dr bahoot hasta hai kun ki uska lund maachis tili
jitna patla aur chota hota hai
sajjan:"Maine kaha tha na aap hanse ge"
dr:"Thik hai ab nahi hasunga acha ye to batao bimari kya hai"
Sajjan:"dr sahab bimari yeh hai ki kal raat se
mere lund me sujan hai"



Sajjan sing aur aur unki biwi jab bhi sex karna hota wo
kahte CHALO RAMI KHELE.ek rooz sajjan sing fan saaf kare ke
liye unche tabal pur chad jate hai unki biwi table ko pakadti hai
to lungi se unka lund dekh leti aur bokhlajati hai kahti hai
CHALO RAMI KHELE sajan sing kahte hai CHAL BHAG SAALI PATTE
TO PAHLE HI DEKH LI AB KYA RAMI KHEL GI KHAK?



Girl to hungry boyfriend: If my right leg was afternoon meal
& left leg evening meal what would you prefer?
Boyfriend: Eating between meals


Lady : "I want a good vibrator" Salesman: "Ma"am !
you may select one from our range that is displayed on that wall"
Lady : "O.K. I"ll take that red one"
Salesman: "Sorry, that"s our fire-extinguisher" ;


Pathan jail main qaid tha kissi ne poocha kis case main ho?
Pathan: gheebat ke case main
Man: gheebat ke case main kese?
Pathan: oye yaara hum ne peeth peechay burai kia tha na


BRIDE"S Dad hands a note to the groom;
"GOODS delivered are not returnable! GROOM gave another note
back to father; "contract void if seal is broken!



Do u know how the parachute got its name?
A girl jumped out of the plane,
And her skirt went up, a pathan saw up & said
"oye kitna pyarachuut hai"



Degrees of girls:
BA:Beautiful Ass
LLB:Lovely Lickable Breasts
BSc:Beautiful Sexy Cunt.
MBBS:Member of Big Boobs Soiety.
MBA:Married But Available... ..




Phool Murjhate acche nahi lagte,
Aap lund khujate acche nahi lagte,
Koi to patalo bachi ab meri jaan,
Roz Roz bathroom me hilate acche nahi lagte...



today a few drop$ of blood fell down of my heart and when i A$ked
why the re$ponse wa$ "There wa$ $omeone very cruel in your$ heat
that forced u$ to come out.....


What is the similarity between Boobs and a Toothpaste?? ?
.
.
.
.
It is easy to know the answer...
Kholo
Dabao
Munh main daalo
Fresh ho jao......... ......... .!!!!!!



Q. What have a KFC and a women got in common...... .....?>
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A. Once you finished with the legs and breasts you are just left
with a greasy box to chuck your bone in




What is the similarity between a college girl and a pregnant woman....... ........?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Both bunks period...... .......



Sex - Symbol of Love
PENIS - Length of Love
PUSSY - Depth of Love..
BOOBS - Shape of Love...
BUTTS - Base of Love



Bin Saavan Ke Barsaat Nahi Hoti
Sooraj Doobe Bina Raat Nahi Hoti
Kya Karein Ab Kuch Esi Aadat Hai K
Aapki Gaand Mein Ungli Kiye Bina
Din Ki Shuroowat Nahi Hoti.....



Judge: So, when did you realise that you were raped..?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Prostitute: When the cheque bounced..!




Dosti phuddi nahi jo chud jaye
Dosti Gand nahi jo phat jaye
Dosti mammay nahi jo pakray jaye
Dosti to lund hai, Jo uthey to zamana hil jaye




Teacher Class main apne baby ko dudh pilate hue boli
Ale Ale Mera Beta Dudh P K Dr.Banega!
Student: Mam thoda humey bhi pila do kam se kam compunder hi ban jayenge



Wife: "Kuttey ko kaise pata chal jata hai k Kuttiya Fucking k mood main hai?"
Husband: Soongh kar..
Wife: To aap ko zukhaam hai kya?



Ek din jangle me chuha tezi se bhagta rahta hai aur chillata
rahta hai BHAGO BHAGO GAZAB HO GAYA raste me use bandar milta
puchne pur kuch nahi kahta aur chillate huye bhag jata hai phir
bhalu milta hai uske rokne pur bhi nahi rukta aur bhag jata hai
phir use hathi milta hai aur use zabardasti roj kar puchta hai to
wah chillata hai BHAGO GAZAB
HOGAYA hathi kahta hai DEKH CHUHE SAHI SAHI BATA HUA KYA HAI
WARNA BAHOT MARUNGA chuha dar jata hai aur kahta hai RAAT KO
SHERNI KI KISI NE GAAND MARLI hathi kahta hai TO TU KYUN BHAG
RAHA HAI chuha kata hai BHAGU NAHI TO KYA KARUN ILZAAM TO MERE
SAR PUR HAI



Sajjan sing shadi ke pahle bahoot he bhole bhale the
suhag raat ke samay jub unho ne apni biwi ke boobs dekhe to
kahne lage ARE BAAP TUMHARE CHATI PUR ITNE BADE BADE PHODE HAI
KAL DR KE PAAS JAKAR CHIRA LAGWAANA.dusre din unki biwi
salwar utar kar baithi thi uski choot dekh kar
bole YEH KYA TUMHE CHIRA UPAR LAGWANA THA TANGO KE
BEECH LAGWA AI



Mirza galib ek din ek ludki ka pecha karte karte jungle
tak pahonch jate hai ludki ghabrakar ek jhad pur chad jati hai
galib bode hone ke karan chad nahi pate hai aur jhad ke niche
baith jate hai.kuch der baad ludki ko peshab ati hai aur wahi
se galib sahab pur peshab kardeti hai.ghalib sahab sayrana
andaz ne ludki se puchte hai
AYE CHANCHAL SHOQUE HASENA YE KAISI NADANI HAI
Ludki bhi tawab shairi me deti hai
MIRZA SAHAB AAP JIS JHEEL SE NIKLE HAI YE US JHEEL KA PAANI HAI.




Wives r incoming calls,
Lovers r outgoing calls,
Aunties r Toll-free calls,
Callgirls r Roaming calls,
Neighbour girls r Missed Calls



Samundar kinare jaa kar baitho... kabhi na kabhi to leher aayegi...
kismat badle ya na badle mere dost...Tunhari GAAND to dhul jayegi...



A prostitute left her profesion nd start teaching.
she goes 2 a skool.princpal asks wot u can teach
biology,zology or psychlogy.
She repliz no Dalogy n Nikalogy



Mother ask daughter:
How is ur married life?
Daughter Shyly show her British Airways Add.
Mother reads the Add & is shocked"
7days a week, twice a day, bothways.



Filmi names of penis.
1-2 ankur
3-5 masoom
6-8 parwarish
9-15 pariwartan
16-20 pyaasa
21-35 shikari
36-50 kabhi kabhi
51-60 kamchor
61-75 yaaden


When MTNL& BSNL introduced push
button telephone in place
of old dial phone,
their ad campaign was
"BAHUT GHOOMAYA, AB DABAA"



Sardar was fucking his wife.
His friend came & knocked the door .
sardar opened the door after 5 mint.
Friend: "BADI DER LAGA DITTY"
Sardar: chatni kutt rahe si.
Friend: BHABHI MENU VI CHATNI CHATA DEYO,
Sardarni: Main tan kunda dho aayee,
sote te laggi hai oh chatt layo.




"Sperms talking to each other in pennies"
main doctor banuga, main pilot banuga,
after sometime Sardar goes to bathroom for "masterbunde"
saale Sardaar ne sada carieer barbaad kar dita.



Sardarni:Aaj jub mai apni bra utar ri thi tab ek larka muje dekh raha tha.
Sardar:Phr tumne kya kia?
Sardarni:Maine bra se apna mou chupa lia...:D




What"s The Difference Between Pulling A curtain & Panty....... ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
When U Pu The CurtaIn It Means That The Show Is Over........ ......
But PUing Down Panty Meanz....... . It"s Show Time........ ......... ;->




I Wished I were A Ring Upon My girl Friend"s Hand........ ..
Coz Every Time She"d Wipe Her Rear.... I"d See The Promised Land........ .



Yaar Mujhe AIk CaLL kro Plz, Koi Khas Kaam To Nhi hai,
ActuaLLy meri Ammi Tumse Baat Krna Chahti Hain,
Unko YaQeen Nhi Ho Rha k
.
.
.
Bandar Bhi Batein Krte Hain...



This sms can only be read by someone SEXY:...
try again...again. ..maybe you are just not sexy?...
one more time...hey don"t force it ugly!!!



3 tips to break a miror:
1. pathar mar ker tod do.
2. utha ke neechay phainko.
3. sheesha ke saamne khare ho ker muskurao.
Mujhay yaqeen hai ke 3 wala tumhare liye ziada mufeed hai.



i think tum zindgi main kafi aagay jao gay
aagay say aagay barthay chalay jao gay
quen k jahaan b jao gay gay
loag kahain chal chal agay ho.



Mere mehboob k hoont gulabi aur aankh nashely,
par kya karon khusra khusra hi hota hai



Lost in a zoo I saw many animals..
Mouse
BIRD
Monkey
haila...! U 2


Press Down if u think u r MAD.
I can"t Believe u Did That!
Again?
For God Sake! LORD!!
Why u Still Doing it?
Truth is out now!
MENTAL CASE!!


Who Wants 2 B A
£MILLIONAIRE£
Let"s play?
Q.Nobody likes you because you are a:
A.Cunt
B.Wanker
C.Rsole
D.Twat
50/50
Phone a friend?
Ring me! I will tell you!



Abe Khajur,
Zoo se bhaage hue Langur,
abe Sade hue Kele ke Chhilke,
Chuse hue Aam, Circus k Retired Bander,
(Aisa kisi ko na kehna Feel hota hai).



Taste dis SMS
Did u feel da taste of ginger?
No?
Sure?
Well.....
BANDAR KYA JAANE ADRAK KA SWAAD!!


U r Ultimate
U r Lovely
U r Likable
U r Unique
In short ......
U r ULLU !!!


Yaar aaj ka din bada fuddu hai....
Fuddu se yaad aaya
Kaisa hai tu..!!



One day a monkey looked into mirror & said,
"Oh my ugly face, fat nose" and killed himself.
Promise me u will not look into mirror,
coz I dont wanna loose you!



1 larkay nay baap ko viagira ki goli di aur kaha papa agar
achi lagay tu istimal kay baad mery takiye kay nichay 100rs
rakh daina.
agli subah larkay nay takiye kay nichay daikha tu 1100rs
paray thay
larka:abu may nay tu 100rs kahay thay?
BAAP:baita may nay 100 hi rakhay thay 1000 teri maa
nay rakhay hain.....


suhag raat ko dulha bola"jani bol aaj tujhay chaand par
lay joun ya taroon ki ser karooun"
dulhan sharma kar boli"aap ka rocket 1 baar daikh loun
phir decide karoungi"




wife catches husband with naukrani
NAUKRANI:maaf kardo bibi jee 500rs ka lalach mila tha.
WIFE:may tujhay 5000rs doun gi bata tu nay sahab jee ka
khara kaisay kiya?



dimagh kay liye
BADAM ka juice.
dil kay liye
PYAAR ka juice.
sehat kay liye
ANAR ka juice
khus rehnay kay
liye
?
?
?
?
MERA CHOOS:)




Teacher: Haath main kitni fingers hoti hain???
Pappu: Sir 6
Teacher: Bhosri ke tujhe kitni daffa kaha hai pent se
hath bahir nikal ke count kia kar



Girl to her mother: Mama , main kaise paida hui thi?
Mother Baita tumhein pari le kar ayi thi.
Girl: Acha to papa pari ko bhi choda kartay thay?



The 3 miracles of a woman:
produce milk without eating grass,
7 days of bleeding without dieing,
letting a man come without yelling



Doc:Do u watch ur husband"s face while makng love?
Lady:I did once and saw anger.
Doc:Y?
Lady:Bcoz he was watching from the window...!!!



Gals u know whats the Esex
viverting mod me cell apni choot ke ander rakhoo then call ur boy
farand call u this call e sex...



CHILD:anty ka pait kiyon phola hai
PAPA:i know to sub janta hai
CHILD:i dont know
PAPA:in kay pait main pani bhara hai
CHILD:papaphir bacha to doob jaye ga



Do u know the full form of ABCDEFG?
Its"A Boy Can Do Everything For a Girl" now reverse the order
:GFEDCBA "Girls Forget Everything Done and Catches (new)Boy Again!!!



jab nigahain ho paaon pe

hath hoon knees pe

dil ho halaq main

aur

ansu hon gaalon pe to

samajh lena



ke tum Peshawar main ho




Jehra msg na kare usdi bund wich 10 lun 2 glass 3 chamache
5 thaliyan 11 manje 8 sofe 2 cooler 6 ac 9 scooter 7 rajayian
5 tv 3 dvd 2 caran 9 boot 21 shirt 18 pentan 2 pani walian tankiyan
10 kille pealee 2 savage . msg kar nahi tan piche toori wala
truck v aa reha hai




NEW iTEAM on
FUDi PLAZA HOTEL=
1- Stuffed mumma,
2- Masala tatte,
3- Lullian da mitha achar,
4- Sirke wale lul,
5- Flavoured fudi,
6- Tanduri bund,



Ek lady ne apni goud me ek baby le rakha tha jiska pao uski choot
per lag raha tha. ek manchala bola : "Tera pao choom loo to
maja aa jaye" Lady boli iske papa ka land choos le ,
wo to pura hi choot me jata hai







thora sa apna moon mobile screen k samny karo


thora sa or
kaha na thora sa or

aby oeeee sunta nahi kia thora sa or
or

thora left say orr
bus bus theeikh hay


AAAAAKH THOOOOOO



tez dhadkanoon ko sunkar bhi tumhe
pyar ki khabar nahi hoti....
kya mehsoos karoge tum dil ka dard,
dil ke tutne ki to awaaz bhi nahi hoti....


Aaj Phir Dil Hai Kuch Udaas Sa
Jaane Kyun Ek Mayusi Si Chahi Hai
Aaj Phir Palkon Pe Aansu Hai
Bheed Mein Hoon Phir Bhi Tanhai Hai.



Hum Se Panchi Bhuly
Dil Kia Udd Liay Thak Giay To Basera Kia
Rooz Mer K Jiye
Rooz Ji K Mare
Zaher Her Shaam Kis Ne Piya
Dil Tha Wo Bhi Toot Gaya
Ab Lutanye Ko Kuch Bhi Nahi.....



Tum Bhoolakar To Dekho Hume
Har Khushi Tumse Rooth Jayegi
Jab Bhi Sochoge Apne Bare Me
Khud - Ba - Khud Yaad Hamari Aayegi



Muhabat kiss ko kehtay hain
Hamay tum nay sikhaya tha
Ibadat kis ko kehtay hain yeh bhi tum nay bataya tha
Magar jab hum muhabat ki kisi wadi main khoya thay
Suhanay khawab mairi jaagti ankhoon main soyay thay
Hamain tanha kiya tum ne koi awaz tak na dee
Humhain dhoondha bohat sapnay sajati mairi aankhooN ne
Buhat khushfehmian palay
Buhat hi door ja niklay
Jahan say loot anay main
Hamay ik umer lagni thee
To uss damm aik pal socha!
Keh kyun na hamm kuch door aur ja bhatkain
Kisi nayi oor ja niklain
Kisi kay sath phir hum bhee
Khail muhabat ka phir khailain
Kisi ka toor dain dill hum
Kisi ko sooz main daikhain
Magar mushkil pari hum ko
Keh hum pathar nahen balkay dharakta dill hi rakhtay hain



Meri Chaahat Pe Tum Humesha Bharosha Rakhana,
Ey Khuda Mere Mehboob ko Sada Salamat Rakhana,
Tere Sapno ko Sanwar Ne Hum zaroor Aayenge,
Bas Aankho Me Humara Intezaar Rakhana



mujy ap ki girl friend ny bataya hia keh ap bohat
shareef seedhay saadhay or naik insan hein ap ko na
to koi chalakii atii hai or na he
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"HUSHIYARI"


doctor implants new ear to a man
Man: doctor! you swine you gave me an ear of woman
Dr: yes! but it makes no difference
Man: it does, now i hear everything but hear nothing



ROSE
LOTUS
TULIP
ORCHID
SUNFLOWER
JASMAINE
LILY!
All Flowers r Sweet but
they"ve no Comparision with u !!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
Kyunki
Gobhi ke Phool ki BAAT hi or hai.. :-)....



Chandni ka GHOORA sone ki lagaan message parhne se pehle
apko mera salam,
Chai peene wale kabhi
COFFEE bhi piya karo
yad karne wale kabhi
1-2 message bhi kiya karo... :-)



msg ki umeed laga rakhi hai
nazar mobile per tika rakhi hai
battery bhi full charge kar rakhi hai
par msg aaeyga kese
dosti jo kanjooso se bana rakhi hai



Welcum to WWW.Shareef. COM
Type Pass : ****
NEW MEMber : U R Welcum
PROCESSING DEnIED !
SOrry U R Not SHareef ... ! Try
WWW.Khabees. com



If i need brain transplantation i"ll definitely prefer Ur brain. Y?
Bcoz..
Ur
Genius..?
NaNa
I just want a brain which is Never Used B4!
BolayTo
ZeroMeter!!



aaj phir aap nazar nahi aaye,
Phir tamanaoon k phoon murjhaye,
Najane kin galion main kho gaye ho aap,
Hum tou police station se pagal-khane tak dekh aaye..!




JATT: Tumhe rajput kyon kehte hain?
RAJPUT:Hum apni baat pe jaan de dete hain,
aur tumhe"JATT" kyon kehte hai?
JATT: Hum bina BAAT PE JAAN LE LETE HAIN.



Suno!
Aaj Aftari mein

samose bi thay

pakoray bi thay

sharbat bhi tha
kele bhi the
saib bhi the
angoor bhi the

Khujoor bhi thi

bas

aik tumhari kami thi


Kharboozay!




Haseeno ke ye jo lambe baal hote hain,
Aashiqon ko phasaane ke jaal hote hain,
Khoon chooste hai ye aashiqon ka
Tabhi to inke gaal laal hote hain.



Help, the police put me in prison for looking
so damn beautiful!.. they said i need an ugly
bastard to get me out... hurry up
hahaahahahahahahaha hahahha



beta tayari kar lo!
Count down shurru ho chuka
thoray se din reh gaye hain
jo karna hai kar lo





phir Ramzan ka chand nazar atay he tum zanjeeron main bandh diye jao ge




Aaina dekh kar begana ho gaya,
Wo apney he husn ka dewana ho gya
Muqabala husn main hisa lia ap ne bhi
Auron ko to cup mila mager ap ko jurmana ho gya



Teacher:
attendance plz:
pintoo...
present sir.
guddu...
present sir.

kaalu...
present sir.
ulluu...
ulluu...
ulluu...

button dabana choor "PRESENT SIR" bool....



kyon har bar mosam ki tarha badal jatay ho
har naye saal hamara dil dukhatay ho
ye baat sun ke meri rooh tak kaanmp gayi
ay dost tum masjidon se jootay churatay ho?



Phone K RIshte Bhi Ajeeb Hote Hain
Balance Rakh Kr BHi Log Ghareeb Hote Hain
Msg Krne Ki Hoti Nahi JinKo Taufeeq
Wo Log bhi KItne Miskeen Hote Hain



Bijli Bord vich post nikli hai salri "50000"rs h r r z milnge.
Kam koi nahi bass "11kv" tar te GILLA kapra mar ke saaf karni hai.
BEST OF LUCK


Har vele fikar jiha ek rehnda bas PADAI da,

tu ta kanjra thik hi hona haal das sadi BHARJAI da.


Ek hathi ne ek chuhiya ko ched diya, chuhiya ne hathini ko shikayat
karke kaha ki apne pati ko samjha lo varna Mard hamare ghar mein
bhi hai



Ab tek meri life khuli bottle thi
Jis main se sub perfume ki terha ur jata tha
aap k aane se sub kuch ruk gaya hai
khuda kare aap jaisa dhkken sub ko mile


haha Hai Jise Chahat Se Zyada

Smjha hai Jise Muhabbat se Zyada

Bharosa hai Jis pe Khud se Zyada

Tu hai Hai wo....

HARAMZADA..




Sarey Gawaho Aur Bayanat Ko Madde nazar Rkhte hoye
Ye AdaLat PenaL Code Dafa 382 K Tehet MsG prhne WaLe
Mujrim Ko MsG na Bhejne K Jurm Mein " KANJOOS " Qaraar
Deti hai.




Pyarey Bhaiyya!!

27 August ko Hamara VaLima hai,
Zaroor ana..
Mere MoBiLe mein BaLance nahi hai..
Is Liye "UN" k MobiLe se MSG kr Rahi hoon.

Aap ki Behen
KATRINA KAIF




Asli Bewkuf Ki 4 Nishanian1.
Seedhe Hath Mein Mob Pakry
2. Angothay Se Button Dabaye
3. Message Parh K Hansay
4. Soche K aur Kis Ko Send Krun?



Ehh, Do u want a new tone ? wait for 5 secs...

05.....

04....

03...

02..

01.

) " (
/ ).)...P RRRR..
L./L./



New Punishment for Mobile Owner Missed Call Ke liye Kaala Pani
SMS ke liye Faansi
Call ke liye Umarquid
Tum Mat Daro KANJUSO ko to ek lakh ka inaam hai....



barsaat ke mausam main aap ka dil chahta ho ga,
barish main nahanay ka,
geet gungunanay ka,
paani main chhai chhappa chhai karne ka,
barsaat main sab frogs ka dil yehi karta hai.



Hungry kya?
Laddoo bhej raha hoon...

yeh le...


) " (
/ ).) o
L./L./ o
o
kha..Beta kha. .
laddoo....kha. ......!




Aap Pareshan hain?
Theek se Neend nhi aati?
Sotey hoay Jaag jatay hain?
Ab mazeed pareshaani ki zaroorat nhi
Ab aA gaya


"PAMPERS"
Chain Se Sona khoob Brhna




molvun k khilaaf bhonknay walon zabaan band karo
molvun k baghair kis kaam k ho zaban band karo
tum aaj mar jao to kon janaza parrhai ga tumhara
molvi hi parrhai ga kuch sharam karo



Aaina dekh kar begana hogaya,
Khud apney husn k dewana hogaya,
MUQABL-e-HUSN mei hisa lia aap ny bhi,
Auron ko to cup mila per apko jurmana ho gaya
Insult SMS



AQAL" kya hoti hai?
Asman ne kaha: Bahut Buland hoti hai,
Sagar ne kaha: Bahut Gehri hoti hai,
Apne kaha:Hain... ......... . Woh kya hoti hai?




CoLgate se Daant Saaf Krne ka,
Pepsodent Se Mazboot Krne Ka,
CLoseup se Fresh Krne ka,

Agar Phir bhi White na Ho to...


HARPIC Use Krne ka...






God Is So Wise That he Created Friendz
Without a Price Tag Coz If He Did Then I
CouLd Not Afford U Coz...
.

.

..
5 Or 10 Paisey K Sikkey aaj KaL kahan MiLtey hain yaar..




when i miss u
i read your sms


when i want to see u
i close my eyes


and when i want to hear your voice
I
Simply
throw
a stone
over
Donkey





i message
recieved

1
cool person
sent it

1
fool is
reading it

1
fool is
angry

1
fool is
still reading

1
fool will frwd thid
msg to another fool




Kanjoos ki zindagi kya jeena..
kabhie meri tarah jiya karo.
roz meri SMS padhke sharam nahin aati
kabhie khud bhi SMS kiya karo !!




Mobile pe ek virus agaya hai,
agar 00000420 no se koi call aaye to atend nahi kerna ,
werna insan ban jaoge... sialkot main do ghade insan ban gaye hen..
SO BE CAREFUL!!



.""""v""""".
...v...
aham! this is not a heart, this is my old underware which i don"t use,
i thought i should ask you before i throw it
Oye tennu chahi di tay nai???



World cup k bad sehwag in filmo me nazar aayege!
Kabhi ek kabhi duck!
Hum wicket de chuke sanam.
Kal team mein ho na ho.
Kyon.... Out ho gaya na!



tumhari payal ki jhankar
tumharay kangan ki khankaar
tumhari sanson ki sarsarahat
tumharay dil ki dhak dhak
uffffffffff. .......



tum larki ho ya noise polution??



zindagi main sab kuch mil sakta hai
paisa
property
gaari
izzat
lekin



tootay huay daant dobara nahi miltay!
samajhdar ho, umeed hai ab sms karo ge



No Visits
No Calls
No SMS
No Missed Calls
I"m worried kya hoa zoo walon ne dobara pakar liya kya?


Suah sweray utth ker,
naha dho ker,
acchay kapray pahan ker,
Fajjar Ki namaz ada kerne kay bad,
Allah ke hazoor jhuk ker,
girgra ker apne liye aqal mango.
aur Allah key hazoor yeh bhi arz kro kay
"Ya-Allah Paak Jab aap Ne Aqal Banti To Uss waqt main Kidhar Tha"



Maine ap ko khwab main dekha
Aap hooron k darmian they
Maine ALLAH se poocha
Is ko kis naiki ki jaza mili hai
Jawab aya: Isko jaza nahi...
Hooron ko saza mili hai..


andheri kabar,
sunsan kabristan,
soni haveli,
kala aasman,
bejli karki aaya tofan,
rat ho gayee
so ja shaitan,


Is dIl ka kaha mano ek kaam kardo,
EK benaam si mohabbat mere naam kerdo
Meri zaat pe faqat itna ehsaan kerdo,
GHar se nahaker niklo, poray ilaaqay ko hairan kerdo


Main terai balooon main khona chahta hoon.....
main tere baloon main khona chahta hoon......
per kambakhat tum tail buhat lagati ho .....
her baar phisal jata hoon........ ....



Mental Hospital Ke Operation Theatre Main
Operation Tayyar
Saman Mojood
Docters Mojood
Nurses Mojood
Laikin Mental

SMS Parhney Main Masroof Hai.




Kaju
Badam
Khajoor
Pista
Chilghoza
Kishmish

Ye Sab Dry Fruits hain tu bht Tasty....
Laikin

Aap jese Akhrot ki baat hee kuch aur hai



Yaar Mujhe AIk CaLL kro Plz, Koi Khas Kaam To Nhi hai,
ActuaLLy meri Ammi Tumse Baat Krna Chahti Hain,
Unko YaQeen Nhi Ho Rha k


Bandar Bhi Batein Krte Hain..




Yaad hai hum pehle kahan milay the?

"TRAIN RUKI
KhirkI KHULI
NAZRON SE NAZRIEN MILI
or

AAP NE KAHA

"ALLAH K NAAM PE KUCH DEDO BABA".




Read This Wazeefa 100 Times On Every Friday,
Standing At The Door Of The Mosque.
Inshallah You Will Be Rich In Few Days.
The Wazeefa Is


"Allah Ke Naam Pe De Ja BaBa"




aik aadmi murghi ki gand me lund dalnay ki koshish kar raha hota hay
oor kehta hay "KHOL VI ANDAY NALON TAY NAI MOTA"


Gilrls College k samnay se 11 Girls Kailay bachnay waly se
11 kailay mangti hen, Kailay wala kehta he k puray
12 he melayngay, to aik Girl kehti he" Chlo Yaar Aik Kha Leyn Ge"


Son asked his dad the difference between
LOVE, BELIEF, and RELIEF.

Father says; your Mom is my LOVE.

Our maid is my RILIEF &

I’m your dad- well, that’s my BELIEF...



Sexy female teacher asked the class:
mere marney k baad meri qabar ki takhti pe kia likha hoga?
a boy from last row:Gashti pehli bar akeli so rahe hai....


Girl to her mother: Mama , main kaise paida hui thi?
Mother Baita tumhein pari le kar ayi thi.
Girl: Acha to papa pari ko bhi choda kartay thay?


2 pagal ja rahy thay in kay samnay say 1 oorat ja rahii thi is
nay aonai bra main bicket rakay hooe thay
1 pagal:ya kia ker rahii hay?????
2 pagal: yar samja ker na doodh main bicket deboo ker kha rahii hay


choot chorangi per ek choot ne khud kush hamla kiya
14 chootein halak 10 lund zakmi 22 topay khul gaey
40 MAMAY la pata AUR kai jhantin sulag gaein police ki
foran karwai se 19 TATTAY PAKRAY GAEY baqi tattay farar
sms miltay he under ground hojao



2 lund flim ka tickat laytay hai pehla lund dosre se bolta hai yar
flim sexy na hoo
dosra lund : kio bay
pehla lund : salay nahi to sari flim kharay ho kar daykhna parhay ga



During pregnancy,1st three months fuck normal style,
Next 3 months fuck dog style,
Last 3 months do it wolf style,
sit outside the pussy and howl.
AaAoOOo..... . ;->



**"""""""""* *"""""""" "**
Lovely Eid Card
~----------- ---~
"*=*"
Muhabbat say
Chahat say
Wafa say
Khuloos say
Pyar Ishq say
Jazbon say
Ihtiraam say
Poray "DIL" say
~*~*LOVELY*~ *~
*~*~*EID~*~* ~
~*"MUBARAK"* ~



Raju: Papa, aaj se school me ek period SEX EDUCATION
ka bhi shuru ho gaya haiDad: good.
Lekin tum LULLI kyon hila rahe ho?
Raju: Teacher ne homework diya hai.



Girls were masturbating with carrots. Banta says: What r u doing?
Gals: U naughty guy, will u join us?
Banta: Wait, I"ll get a carrot



BRA kholne se
parvat milta hai.
PANTY kholne se
khai milti hai.
Lakh dard ho,
parvat par
chade bina
raha nahi jata,
aur khai me
gire bina
maza nahi aata.


MINISTER: sach-sach batao, tum kitni bar hamse bewafai ki ho?
WIFE: kul 3 bar.MINSTR: kab-kab?
WIFE: jab apka dil ka operation tha to Dr. k pas gai thi,
Fir jab Aap jail me band hue to judge k pas gai thi.
MINSTR: Teesri bar?WIFE: Jab apko sarkar banana tha,
Aur apke pas 76 MLAs kum the..



Girl: Dr, my boobs r small. Pls Do somethng ?
Dr: Cum everyday. I wil suck & make them BIG.
Girl : Ok then I wil get my husband also. His penis is also small !


SCHOOL MEMORIES-Last bench te baith ke kachian dekhna.-
Pichle bench te baithan lyi ladna.-
Under bench muthaan marnian.-
Bahar khade ho ke madma de momme dekhne.-
Canteen ch ja ke ik duje di bund ch ungal dena.-
Bunk maar ke blu filma dekhnia.-
Mastar to bund te dande khane.-
Papran wich deskan te likhna.-
Agge baithi kudi de ungal laa ke paper puchna.
Those days will never come again.
This Msg is for all ur frnds whom u really miss.



Girl hostel me phone aaya : Reeta HAI KYA ?
Warden ne pucha :aage kya lagati hai ?
Jawab aaya - Ab to pata nahi Pehle SARSON KA TEL lagati thi



A Punjabi Jatt got married in a Urdu speaking family of Lucknow.
Girl"s father with a lot of "tehzééb" asked,
beta huzoor aap ne hamari beti ko kaise paaya?
Jatt replied "O ji tuhaddi beti di kya baat hai ji,
agyon paya, pichyon paya, te kal raati muh wich vi paya


A man was fucking a nurse. She shouts: Aah it"s painful.
Man: Kamini, daily u r injecting me where I don


A policeman arrested a prostitute in the
Hospital area & asked for her profession. <
Prostitute: I"m a social engineer.
Policeman: What do u do?
Prostitute: I build & destroy erections


A policeman arrested a prostitute in the
Hospital area & asked for her profession. <
Prostitute: I"m a social engineer.
Policeman: What do u do?
Prostitute: I build & destroy erections


Beta:mummy tum roj papa pe chad ke jump kyu marti ho?
MoM:PAPA Ke pet ki hawa nikal ne ke liye
beta:kya fayda baju wali aunty roj muh se fir hawa bhar deti hai....