The Beauty of English:
Ever noticed how deleting 1 word after the other in a sentence can lead to a story..?
E.G.
Oh UMAiR please dont touch me at all.!
Oh UMAiR please dont touch me at
Oh UMAiR please dont touch me
Oh UMAiR please dont touch
Oh UMAiR please dont
Oh UMAiR please
Oh UMAiR
Ohhh
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MOOCHI ki BV se us ki Saheli ne poocha
kal Suhaag Raat k se guzri?
B V!
Kute ne dono SURAAKH
'C' daye
or pochta hai or
kahan kahan se phati hai...? ;->
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Boss To Secretory: Book My Ticket For London.. Aur Suno Mera Naam "D.K.BOSE" Likhwana.... !
Werna Airport Pe Mera Naam "BOSE.D.K" Announce Hota Hai.... ;->
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When an apple is Green, it is ready to Pluck!
& when a girl is 18, she is ready for...
NADRA I D CARD ...or kiya?
Hamesha ganda he sochna.....: -)
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Yeh sookha andar jata ha
Aur
Gila bahir ata ha
Pehele chota hota ha
Phir yeh mota hota ha
Jab ye andar rehta ha to yeh red kar deta ha
Thori dair hilane k baad jab ise bahir nikalo to apna kam dikha kar yeh bejan sa bahar ata ha
Kuch aur nahin hai
Is ko kehte han LIPTON TEA BAG...
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SHARABI. Janoo tumhare LIPS kitne Garam, kitne Naram, kitne Pink, Meethe & Geele hain. Girl. Abey Bhosri k pehle meri TANGO ke beech se apna MOO to bahar nikal.
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Qus: Why girls cry on wedding day at The Time of departure?
Ans: wo sochati hai k itney saal intezar karney k baad dulha mila bhi to sirf eik.. ;-
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Aisi Kon c Chez Hai.
jo Woman Mei Aagee hoTi hAi or Cow mEi PeChe.?
.
.
.
.
Its= " W "
W-OMAN
CO-W
Har wAqT NegaTivE Mat Socha Karo... ;->
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Aap ki personality per aik sher arz kia hai,
soraj hamesha chand key sath rahe ga,
Wah Wah,
tou chutiya tha chutiya hai aur chutiya rahe ga,
Wah Wah..>
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Ek sharif admi shadi k bad apni biwi se bola: Aj se tum hi meri Zindagi ho
Rahat ho Tamanna ho!
Biwi: Mere liye b aj se ap hi VIJAY ho AMIR ho aur MUKESH ho.
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Tum duniya k un chandh insano mein se1 ho jinko dekh k unka abba kehta hai.?
.
.
K
.
.
Kash
Us din
"main jaldi sojata"
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Raat ko sirf 3 tarah ke log jaagte hai:
Bhoot - insan ko darane k liye..
Machar - insan ko satane k liye..
Husband & Wife - insan ko banane ke liye
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15 to 20 saal ki larki football ki tarha hai aik k pechay dus log.
21 to 30 saal ki larki cricket ball hai aik k pas ati hai baqi reh jatay hain.
31 to 40 saal ki larki to nahi hoti,
Woh aurat hoti hai jo table tennis ki ball ki tarha hai aik kehta hai tu rakh dusra kehta hai tu rakh ! =P
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For India, its Ind.
For Pakistan its Pak.
For Australia its Aus.
For Argentina its Arg.
For Germany its Ger.
Then what's for
Brazil & London.
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Heights Of Patriotism :
U sitting on an English toilet
in INDIAN style.
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Q: What is the diffrence b/w
1. Call Girl
2. Girlfriend
3. Wife
Ans:
1. Prepaid
2. Postpaid
3. Free & Unlimited. . . . ;->
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Jab Bhi Zubaan Per Tra Naam Aata Hai
Ye Haath LUND ki Taraf Chala Jata Hai
Tujhe Paane K LIye Kaam Aisa Ker Jayenge
Ek Baar De De Werna Hila Hila Ker Mar Jayenge . . .;->
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Chaha Hai Jise Chahat Se Zyada
Smjha hai Jise Muhabbat se Zyada
Bharosa hai Jis pe Khud se Zyada
Tu Hi Hai wo....
KUTTA, KAMEENA, HARAMZADA..
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Y do we always praise shahid afridi who scored 100 runs of 37 balls. The real record blongs to DHATRASTRA In MAHABHARAT who scored 100 sons of only 2 balls.
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Monika Lewinski asks:
Laaloo jee u r so intelligent, but why u have 9 children?
Laloo jee replied: Humarey time mein woh 'Muu mai Lainey Wali Baat Nahi thi na.
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Girl After Having Sex With 4 Boys In Hostel. . .
"I shud go, I'm Getting late"
Boys:"Kuch Dair Aur Ruk Jao. . ."
Girl: "Aur Nahi Ruk Sakti, Papa Bila-Wajah Shak Kerte Hain"
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Define Rape. . . . ? ? ? ?
"It is an operation without co-operation for the insertion of erection into depression without permission for the production of future generation."
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Why Studying is better than sex
10. You can usually find someone to do it with.
9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off.
8. You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame.
7. When you open a book, you don�t have to worry about who else has opened it.
6. A little coffee and you can do it all night.
5. If you don�t finish a chapter you won�t gain a reputation as a �book teaser.�
4. You can do it, eat and watch T.V. all at the same time.
3. You don�t get embarrassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle.
2. You don�t have to put your beer down to do it.
1. If you aren�t sure what you�re doing, you can always ask your roommate for help
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A woman went to the police station and complained that she is being sexually harassed by her colleague. The policeman asked �What does he do?�. The lady replied �Everyday morning he comes to me and says �your hair smells good today�!�. The policeman was confused �Ok madam� �Ok madam� but how can you call this sexual harassment?�. The woman said �He is 3 feet tall!�
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As they watched a hot love scene on a cable channel, the husband asked his wife, �Why don�t you ever make love to me like that?�
�Are you kidding?� she replied. �Do you have any idea how much she gets paid to do that?!�
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Which Part Of The Body Is Most Sensitive While Watching Adult Movies. . . ?
Guess What . . . ? ? ?
Ha Ha Ha . . .
U�re Wrong. . .
�It's Your Ears To Make Sure K Koi Aa Tou Nahi Raha. . . .
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Couple Fucking On Upper Berth & Drain There "STUFF"
On The Head Of "BALD MAN" Sleeping At The Lower Berth. .
Bald Man Oh Shit . . . What The Hell Is Going On. . .? ? ?
Couple: Sorry Sir. . .! We r On HONEYMOON. .
Bald Man: To Hell Wid Ur HONEYMOON . . . But Don't Drop Ur "HONEY" On My "MOON". . .
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Baba Peshaab Ker Raha Tha Larki Ne Dekh Lia
Aur Shararat Se Boli
"Baba G Aap Ka Lund Tou Chawal K Jitna Hai"
Baba: Ye Puraana Chawal Hai, Daigh Main Ja Ker Phoolay Ga . . .
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Sardar Was Using Condom For The First Tm & Unfortunately It Was Left In
Wife Asks: Ab Kia Ho Ga ? ?
Sarda : Kuch Nahi Bacha Plastic Coating Main Aayega. . .
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What is the Similarity between Toothpaste & Boobs?
Guess ?
Its easy !!
U know the answer !!
Kholo.. Dabao... Muh me dalo aur Fresh ho jaao. . . . ;->
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What Is The Similiarty Between Girlz & Mobile Phones . . . ? ? ?
Dono'n
Main Jitna Ghuso Ge , Utne Functions Pata Chalainge . . .
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One Day A Man Goes To Bank For Withdrawing Cash.
Lady Cashier Asked: So So Ke Loge. . .?
Man Replied: Kharey Kharey Bhi Chalega. . .
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Girl: I'm Sure K Dunya Main Sab Se Bari Tumhaari Lulli Hai . . .
Boy: Acha, Wo Kaise. . . ?
Girl: Kion K Is K Baad "LUND" Ki Category Shruu Ho Jati Hai . . .
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Jab Aapka Naam Zaban Par Aata Hai,
Pata Nahi Dil Kyo Muskurata Hai.
Tasalli Ho Jati Hai Lund Ko Koi Tou Hai Aisa
Jo Hanste Huey Har Wat Gaand Marane Ko Tayyar Ho Jata Hai. . .
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Wife In Sexy Mood Lovingly Offers Husband: I Want To Have A Wild Experience. . . . Tie Me Up & Do Whatever You Want . .
Excited HUSBAND Ties Her Up & Fucks The Maid. . .
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Ek Sardar G Ko Baat Baat Pe Gali Bakne Ki Aadat Thi . . .
Wo Apne Bete K Saath Diwali Main Mumbai Jate Hain . . . Ek Chota Bacha Pathaka Chalata Hai . .
sardar G Bolte Hain: Oye Behan Di Fuddi Kithe Ja K Phati Hai
Sardar G K Beta Bolta Hai:
"Papa Jalandhar Wali Bua Di K Ludhyane Wali Di". . . .
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SeX Age!
Age 8 IGNORE it.
Age 18 XPLORE it.
Age 38 ASK 4 it.
Age 48 BEG 4 it.
Age 58 PAY 4 it.
Age 68 PRAY 4 it.
Age 78 FORGET it.
Age 88
AB MAR BI JA GANDU
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Jab Aapko Tatti Na Aaye. . .
Aap Bethe Bethe Thak Jayen. . .
Pressure Bhi Na Aaye. . .
Yaad Karna Us Raat Ko Jb Hum Ne Aap Ki Gaand Mari thi
Shayad Phr Se Aap Ki Gaand Phat Jaye Aur Tatti Aa Jaye. .
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A white Couple Had A Black Baby. . .
Husband Didn't Believe It's His Baby. . . He Askd Wife Why Baby Is Black. . . ?
Wife Said: I was Hot, u Were Hot, So Baby Burnt. . . .
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Burnol Aur Viagra
sardar ki jangh jaal gayi,
dr. ne burnol aur viagra likh ke di
sardar bola burnol to samza par viagra kyon?
dr. ne kaha usse blanket uncha rahega
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One night, the cop was making his routine night patrol. As he pulls up the main street, he finds two trucks parked in the middle of the road with the lights on and the doors wide open.
He decides to go and investigate. As he climbs up into the first truck he sees that it�s empty. He thinks to himself..."Maybe they're in the other truck conferring over a map." So he takes a look in the second truck and sees it's empty also.
As he's walking back to the patrol car to call for a tow truck, he hears sounds coming from underneath one of the trucks. He shines his light and sees two truck drivers, Banta on his knees and Santa kneeling behind him going at it.
The inspector says "Hey! You can't do that here in the middle of the road. It's illegal!"
Santa says, "You don't understand. My friend was having a heart attack."
The inspector replies, "That's not what you do for a heart attack. You're supposed to give mouth to mouth rescucitation! "
To that Santa says, "I did! That�s how it's started!"
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70 WAYS TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY. . . .
NUMBER 1 IS SHOPPING
AND THE REST IS �69�. . . .
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A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.
"Olympic condoms?" she asks, "What makes them so special?"
"There are three colors," he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze."
"What color are you going to wear tonight?" she asks cheekily.
"Gold of course," says the man proudly.
The wife responds, "Really, why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!". . .
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Why Man Hold Boobs & Put Nipples In Mouth Bfore Sex. . .
Guesss . . . .
B�coz
Naag Ko Uthane K Liye Doodh Pilana Zaruuri Hai . . . ;->
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Man 2 Kid : Jo Bachay Muunh Main Anghoota Lete Hain, Unka Pait Phool Jata Hai
Ek Din Bache Pragnent Aun Ko Dekhta Hai Aur Kehta Hai :
"Mujhe Pata Hai Tum Kia Choosti Ho" . . .
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Raat Ko Old Couple Main Larai Ho Jati Hai Aur Wo So Jate Hain
Thori Der K baad Aadmi Jag Jata Hy Tou Aurat Kehti Ha i: Utha Hai Mera Sher Kuch Ker Hi Soye Ga . . .
Aadmi Bolta Hai: Kerne Karane Wale Ki Maa Ki Choot Sher Utha Hai Abhi Is Liye K Mootay Ga Aur Phir Soye Ga
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A well-known motivational speaker gathering the entire crowd's attention,
said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who
wasn't my wife !"
The crowd was shocked!!!!! !!!
He followed up by saying, "That woman was my mother!"
The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well
received.
About a week later, one of the top managers who had the training decided to
use that joke at his house. He tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It
was a bit foggy to him.
He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a
woman who was not my wife!"
Naturally, his wife was shell shocked, murmuring.
After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half
of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who
she was !"
As expected, he got thrashing of his life time....
Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste
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once a poor farmer's son gets married
due to lack of space he decides to divide the room into 2 by a thin cloth so that his son can enjoy his first night
in the night when his son is pumping his wife with full speed the old farmers wife asks the farmer to do it too
the farmer does it once and gets exausted but the son carries on and the farmers wife forces the farmer to do it again after doing it again the farmer is really exausted but the son starts again so the farmer goes over to the other side and says
"beta competition kyon laga raha hai maa to teri hi chudni hai". . .
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Two 90 year olds had been dating for a while, when the man told the woman, "Well, tonight's the night we have sex!"
And so they did.
As they are lying in bed afterward, the man thinks to himself, "My God, if I knew she was a virgin, I would have been much more gentle with her!"
And the woman was thinking to herself, "My God, if I knew the old geezer could actually get it up, I would have taken off my panty hose!. . . .
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A Sardar Named Surinder 'G.A.A.N.D.U'
Goes To An Advocate To Get His Name Changed.
As He Had Been Teased For It His Whole Life.
Advocate: O.K. Can Be Done.
What Would You Like Ur New Name To Be?
Sardar ( After Much Thinking) : GURINDER 'G.A.A.N.D.U' . . . .
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Main Teri Aankh Se Aujhal Ho Jaon Ga
Duur Bohat Fizao'n Main Kho Jaon Ga
Meri Yado'n Se Lipat Ker Roye Ga Tu Bohat
Jab Main Teri Gaand Mar Kar Farar Ho Jaon Ga. . .
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Husband comes home with a half gallon of Ice Cream. He asked his wife if she wants some. . .
she asked: "How hard is it?"
he replies: "About as hard as my dick"
To which She Replies: "OK, then pour me some!". . . ;->
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An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, "I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample."
The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: "WHAT?"
"What did he say? What's he want?"
His wife yells back, "He needs your underwear." . . . ;->
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Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. "Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?" asked the one.
"Well, not exactly." his friend replied, "she's more into the trick dog aspect of it."
"Oh, I see, kinky, huh?"
"Well, not exactly - I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead.".
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