A very jhantu shaayar made it to the marriage party of a Nizam's daughter. He was behaving pretty well when some people asked him to say a sher. These people were expecting something nice from him when he started...
SHER KAHE, SHAYARI KAHE YA GAYE KOI GANA
SHER KAHE, SHAYARI KAHE YA GAYE KOI GANA
TERI NANI PAIR UTHAYE, CHODE MERA NANA!
People were shocked to hear this though this shayar had a famous background of telling some really gandu shayaris. But this being a Royal Marriage, people requested him to say something about the wedding. To humare shayar sahab ne farmaya...
KYA HASEEN FIZZAA HAI INTAZAM KI...
People - WAH!, WAH, IRSHAAD, IRSHAAD !!!!
KYA HASEEN FIZZAA HAI INTAZAM KI...
KYA HASEEN FIZZAA HAI INTAZAM KI...
CHUDEGI AAJ LAUNDIYA NIZAM KI.
People were really angry to hear this. (probably most of them were not like us). They started abusing and throwing stones at him. On this he again started...
AYE DHARTI KE CHAAND SITARON...
This calmed people a bit.
AYE DHARTI KE CHAAND SITARON...
MAA KE LAUDON, PATTHAR TO NA MARO
People went out of control this time and started beating and kicking him.
He begged for mercy but they were not ready to listen to him any more, so he finally stated.
GARDISH MAIN HAI SITARE GAND MARLO HAMARI..
GARDISH MAIN HAI SITARE GAND MARLO HAMARI....
JAB BAHARE-CHAMAN MAIN HONGE,
MAA CHOD-DENGE TUMHARI...
Then one year passed as usual. Again there was a marriage of Nizam's second daughter. Most of the people were again invited. People saw a new hut in front of Nizam's Mahal. Another jhantu sher was written there.
YE HAI EK GARIB SHAYAR KA JHOPDA
JO MAHAL MEIN JAYE USKI MA KA BHOSDA.
Peopel were so agitated that they throw that shayar out of city with his hut. Rest is history. But the history stayed with him when he grew up. He was a railway station out of the city so that shayar dicided that this small town is not made for him so he caught the train to sapnon ki nagri Mumbai. Ek din usne Mumbai mein ek achchhi ladki ko dekha. Ladki ka dhyaan kahi aur tha to shaayar sahaab ne wahin farma diya...
MUDHKAR ZARA IDHAR BHI DEKH ZAALIM
KE TAMANNA HUM BHI RAKHTE HAI
HUSN TERE PAAS HAI TO KYA
DIL HUM BHI RAKHTE HAI
Ladki ko shayari pasand aa gayi aur wo muskura ke chali gayi. Shayar sahab was so excited. Next day he commented on girl.
CHALTI HO HILA HILA KE KYA MAAR DALOGI
HUM KO NAHIN DOGI TO KYA ACHAR DALOGI
You won't believe it. But the girl liked this shayri and she fell for him. Things went well for them for next few days lekin woh ladki kuch aage nahi badhne deti thi. To ek suhana mousam pe humare dost ne use kahe hi dala...
DIL TO DIYA HAI TUJHE PAR EK SHART LAGAYI HAI
LENI HAI WOH CHEEZ JO TUNE TANGO ME CHHEPAYEE HAI
Girl couldn't believe the level of jhantu shayari and she turned back. Shayar thought that the girl is shy and thought that she was liking the shayari very much. He made one more jhantu sher.
TEER KYON CHALATI HO, DHAR HAI TALWAR MEIN
CHOOCHI KYON HILATI HO, JAB MAAL HAI SALWAR MEIN
Ladki ek dam ruth gayi. She ran away towards the lcoal bus. Shayar was still thinking that she liked more jhantu shayari. So he modified his previous shayari.
MUDHKAR ZARA IDHAR BHI DEKH ZAALIM
KE TAMANNA HUM BHI RAKHTE HAI
CHUT TERE PAAS HAI TO KYA LUND HUM BHI RAKHTE HAI
Ladki ne shayar se milna jhulna chhod diya. To shayar ki haalat bhi kharab ho gayi. Dost log bhi khairat puchhne chale aaye. To cheer him up, they requested him to say a sher dedicated to her. So he goes...
BEDARD ZAMANA KYA JAANE
KYA CHEEZ JUDAAI HOTI HAI
HUM LUND PAKAD KAR BAITHE HAI
JABKI GHAR GHAR ME CHUDAI HOTI HAI
Yeh sunkar dost log hil gaye. Koi bola lund ko sambhalo. To koi kaheta hai ki agar lund ko pakad kar baithoge to mutne kaise jaoge? To shayar bolta hai...
KOUN KAHETA HAI KI LUND YAHAN MUTNEKO AATA HAI?
KOUN KAHETA HAI KI LUND YAHAN MUTNEKO AATA HAI?
ARE WOH TO CHUT KI YAAD ME AANSU BAHANE AATA HAI
Yeh sun kar sab dost log aur bhi pareshaan ho gaye. Ek dost se to yeh suna bhi nahi gaya. To woh dost bolta hai ki mei kaise bhi karke teri darling ko waapis bulaunga. Lekin shayar ki Mahebooba kabhi waapis nahi aayi. To uski yaad bhula ne ke liye wohi shaayar Delhi chala gaya. Wahan jab Qutub Minar dekha to bola:
DEKH KE QUTUB MINAR,
SHAYAR KA DIMMAG DODA ASMAAN KO CHODNE CHALA DHARTI KA LAUDA
Is par Delhi police ki gaand mein khujli hui to usse pakad liya gaya aur court mein pesh kiya gaya. Jab Judge sahiba ne poocha "tumhe kuch kehna hai?" to woh bola:
AIYE SANAM UTHA KALAM
MUJHE KASAM HAI RABKI
MUJHE KASAM HAI RABKI
MAA CHOD DOONGA SABKI...
On such a contempt of court, he was ordered to be hanged till death. He was asked for his last wish. Wo bola main Mumabi ja ke ek baar apni mehbooba si milna chahta hun. Usne Mehbooba ko phone kiya.
EHSAAN KISI KA KYA LENA,
HUM TO MUTH PE GUZAARA KARTE HAI E
HSAAN KISI KA KYA LENA,
HUM TO MUTH PE GUZAARA KARTE HAI
JAB BHI YAAD UNKI AATI HAI, OOTH OOTH DUBARA KARTE HAI
Mehbooba ki shadi ho chuki thi par wo phone pe hi senti ho gayi. Aur shayar sahab last time us se milne Mumbai gaye. Mumbai ja ke shayar sahab ko dhakka laga ki unka maal to pahle se hi nilaam ho chuka hai. Shayar ne apni Mebooba se kaha agar kabhi tune wakayi mujhe dil se chaha hai to meri lash ko apne bagiche mein hi dafan karna. Aur us ke upar hi apna bathroom-toilet banana. Wo maan gayi. Mehbooba ne uski kabra apne bagiche mein hi khudwayi after one month, kabra ke upar usne apna toilet-nathroom banaya. Ek din after pissing she saw wall in front of the window of her bathroom. She shocked something written over the wall. She read another Maha-Jhantu sher.
WO AAYE HUMARI KABAR PE AUR CHALE GAYE MOOT KE
WO AAYE HUMARI KABAR PE AUR CHALE GAYE MOOT KE
SHUKAR HAI ISI BAHANE DARSHAN TO DE GAYE CHOOT KE
